Blogging from my phone is getting frustrating. That's the reason you haven't heard from me.

Things at our house are going well!!

Zach and Emily were both diagnosed RSV and Croup. It's been a fun few weeks for our family.

They are both at the tail end of the sickness, thank goodness.

I am so ready to be healthy and get our little family back into our normal.

Zach is doing so well. Now that his sickness is almost gone, he has become so mobile again.

He is crawling and scooting! He has climbed the stairs!!

He talks circles around me! It's AWESOME!! I am happy! We will hopefull start school again for him. I am excited to finally get him in the routine again!!

Emily is off track again, her teacher said that she is doing amazing academically. She is in the top 1% of her class. She is reading on an almost 2nd grade level! I am so proud of her. The only thing her teacher is worried about is her social skills. She says she is often "distant." Considering the things that have happened in her life, esp recently, I am not surprised! We are working on that though!

She is doing well. I have put into place some new disapline and structure. It seems to be working well!

Things are finally moving forward. I hope to start school soon too. I am changing my major. I am not quite sure exactly what it will be yet, but I have a pretty good idea!

The sound of silence...

We are home. It is wonderful.

For me, however, being home brings with it fear, anxiety, worry, silence, and more often than not tears.

I can hear people thinking, but Jenn your home! You are in your own space, no noise, no one bugging you ever 4 hours to take vitals or make a poop check.

All that is true. I feel the same way. I AM happy to have those things again. But those things are GONE!

I have sever Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It is under control 90% of the time. The other 10% can be SO debilitating.

I am on alert 24/7.

It's the morning now. I fell asleep while typing this post. Haha.

The night was really hard. Zach woke up at least. 4 times in a lot of pain. He had thrown up a few times and I was SO worried. After giving back the meds I had just gave him, I called our neurosergon. He gave me reassurance that because he didn't have any other symptoms he was okay.

I did okay for the most part. There was the one part where I woke up to him having gotten out of his bed and was trying to join me in mine!

I asked what he was doing. He said, I dettin out a bed. Mom I need you. After getting him settled in his spot, he would either ask to hold my hand or put his hand on my face. He had to hold some part of me the whole night. I have never seen him like this before.

I am watching him now fighting to make the pain go away. He keeps asking for me to sit by him.

This a new place for me right now. I am SO happy that we are home. It's nice to have my own bed, bathroom, tv and kitchen! I just wish I had a soda fountain and an ice machine. That would be Awesome!!!