It's okay to have a bad day...

It's tough being a mom. Today was one of those days when it was hard to be the mom that couldn't help their child. I hate being in a place where there is nothing I can do. I never expected for him to be pain free. Not in the least!!

Zach's morning was awesome. Then by the afternoon things changed. He just could not get comfortable. He had a situation while getting a CT scan (which turned out great!) that set the tone for the rest of the day.

The nurses that were moving him back to his bed didn't look and make sure that his head was supported and as they lifted him he hit his head quite hard on the head sheild. OUCH!

This sent him in to a crying situation that he could not control. As they tried to move him again the nurse kneeled on the drain tube that is stitched into his head. It drains he extra fluid that builds up. To much fluid causes the pressure to build and creates one heck of a headache. As i watched helplessly, and listened to him cry like I have never heard him cry before, I noticed the fluid literally shooting out of the tube. The nurse caught it and was able to pinch it so it was not flowing anymore.

We had a nurse come and reattach and stitch it back into place. I was fighting for a place to touch him and let him know i was around. He was not happy, with good reason, and I just wanted to punch the nurse in the face... FYI I am SO not a violent person, however, I can be VERY vocal and I will fight for my children.

They finally got him back up to his room and I was trying to figure out something that I could do to help calm him down.I had sung "his" song about 100 times and it just wasn't cutting it. Then it hit me.. CALL GRANDMA! I picked up my cell and we called "andma." He talked to her for a few minutes and after we hung up he calmed right down. YAY! He just LOVES his grandma.

Grandma got here a little while later and watched him while I took a nap. We got to start clear liquids today too! He drank really well and got a slushy. As we were watching him he just seemed uncomfortable. Then WAM throw up EVERYWHERE! EWW... Poor grandma was in the line of fire. There wasn't a nurse in sight so I just yelled.. WE NEED HELP IN HERE!!!

A doctor came running and helped us clean him off. After that episode they gave him Zofran to help with his upset tummy. They also put his Morphine on a regular routine... HELLO why wasn't it that way before?? GERRR!

By 9pm tonight he was so uncomfortable nothing seemed to be working. I noticed that his drain wasn't doing its job. How could he relaxed when the pressure in his head was building at an alarming rate? Again I went to find help and no one was to be seen. They were doing a procedure on a little boy across the way and the boy was screaming so loud that it was making all of us anxious. *sigh* I waited for 10 min before someone came back to our pod. I talked to the Doctor and she said "Okay i will come check on him", then, we never saw her again. Zach was crying so hard that I was ready to start yelling for someone to help or start walking into rooms and asking for someone to care about my son.

Thankfully my nurse came back and was able to help me adjust him. I made sure she checked his drain. Currently he is peacfully sleeping and looks like this...


Cause that's how he rolls dontcha know!?!?!?
I love him!